A Clarification on Bring a Bible to Church Day

Another great report from the very funny guys at the Tominthebox News Network:

Baxton, OH -- FBC Baxton would like to clarify the meaning of its recent online calendar entry, Bring A Bible To Church Day, set for this Sunday, July 20, 2008.

Confusion was obvious within the first hour of emailing the weekly newsletter last Monday, which included a link to the calendar. At least 5 people contacted Pastor Rokestern expressing concern about whether the church's internet was down or if the projector bulbs were on back order. Many volunteered their services to help, if needed, with any problems.

Throughout the week, more questions came in as members expressed an interest in the idea of bringing a Bible (even wishing to participate in the novel event) but were simply confused as to what qualified as a Bible. Was an electronic Bible acceptable? What about an Amazon Kindle?

Still others wondered if the email referred solely to a full length paper Bible in book form. One individual was curious if a book that is considered equivalent to the Bible is sufficient. What about the Prayer of Jabez or At Parbar Westward?

To reduce confusion, FBC Baxton released the following clarifying statement on Friday afternoon: “Whereas our ancestors sung Standing on the Promises, and whereas they believed God’s promises are contained in the Bible, and whereas we want to be High and Lifted Up: we therefore would like you to bring a Bible (or equivalent, e.g. Your Best Life Now) to church Sunday to stand upon during the worship service. Please bring as many Bibles as you can so you can reach a higher level of worship."